Dear Movie Companies...

Dear movie companies,

It has occurred to me that you are getting more and more angry about the people who go online to illegally download your movies rather than paying to see them in the theater or buying your blu ray and DVDs. For several years, now, you have stuck gestapo-type ads on your DVDs warning that downloading movies off the internet is the same as stealing from your mother's purse or robbing a store. You seem to be shocked that people are breaking the law to see your movies.

Is it really a surprise, though? Are you truly baffled? Do you really not understand why people would rather see your movies for free than overpay to see them in theaters or buy them on home media? Perhaps I can help explain.

Recently, Warner Brothers struck a deal with the popular online rental company Netflix who have lately been promoting their "Watch Instantly" program. While customers are waiting for their DVDs and Blu Ray to arrive in the mail, they have the option to instantly watch a movie on their computer or TV, streaming from Netflix. The deal was that you would allow Netflix to show more movies from Warner Brother's production companies in exchange for Netflix delaying their rental dates. This meant that a movie such as "Where the Wild Things Are" which was released on March 2, 2010, would not be available for rental through Netflix until April 2, 2010. Warner Brother's also promised that more copies would be available to Netflix so that there wouldn't be long wait times for customers to receive the movies. Now other movie companies have followed this trend.

Well, I have had "Where the Wild Things Are" at the top of my Netflix queue and, nearly two months later, I still haven't been able to rent it. Yesterday, however, I did finally get the movie "The Box". It wasn't a movie I was dying to see, but one that I was somewhat interested in viewing. As I took the blu ray copy out of the Netflix sleeve I couldn't help but notice the words (in a font larger than the movie title) "Rental Copy". When I put the Blu ray in my player, I sat through several previews before finally getting to the Main Menu. Imagine my surprise when I noticed that there was no bonus features menu listed. I went online and found a review of the blu ray and discovered that there were supposed to be several "making of" documentaries on the disc, but my copy, the "rental copy" didn't have them. Now, I realized that not many people really care about special features or "making of" documentaries, but I am a major geek and I LOVE them and I was upset that I wouldn't be able to see any for this movie.

I see what you guys are doing here. You're trying to get me to buy your DVDs and Blu Ray rather than rent them. I totally get that! You're running a business and trying to make money. But you see, there is a reason I don't always like buying your DVDs and Blu Rays.

Last week, the popular movie Avatar came out on DVD and Blu Ray. I was excited about that! I really enjoyed the movie and was looking forward to seeing it again. But then I found out something disturbing. There are absolutely NO special features. NOT ONE! Not even a trailer! How is it possible that a movie as technically advanced as Avatar doesn't have any documentaries about the making of it? Well you see, I discovered that Fox plans to release a "special edition" later in November. This brings me to my next gripe with you movie companies: Double Dipping.

It has become a trend for you guys to release a "bare bones" edition of a movie and then, six months later, release the "special edition" with all those cool new features I crave. Your hope is that I will buy your "bare bones" version AND the "special edition" so you guys make more money from me. Thankfully I was never a fan of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I think there were three or four different versions of each of those movies released!

Do you understand why I would rather rent one of your movies than buy it? I definitely don't want to buy a movie that I haven't even seen! Well, you might say, why don't I just go see your movies in the theaters?

Have you seen the price of movie tickets lately? I'm surprised you don't have loan sharks outside movie theaters trying to lend money to patrons. Usually when I go to a movie, I try to see a matinee showing and most theaters now charge close to $10 for a movie. $10! Ten dollars! For a matinee! Another Hollywood trend is that ultra cool 3D technology! Movies that were never intended to be shown in 3D are now being quickly formatted before their releases so you can charge an extra $5 onto a movie ticket. So that means a matinee 3D movie could end up costing me around $15. $15! Fifteen dollars!

Most times I elect to see the movie in good, old fashioned 2D. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but lately, more and more movies are starting to suck. Few and far between are the movies like (500) Days of Summer or Slumdog Millionaire or Zombieland. More and more movies end up being like Twilight or Clash of the Titans or *shudder* Transformers 2. Hollywood seems to favor large explosions and ridiculous special effects over realistic characters, plausible story lines and more meaningful two hours spent in a movie theater.

Now, I realize that my taste in movies might be far different from the mass majority. Perhaps that is my fault. But can you rich producers understand why I might hesitate to plan out bus routes, walk from a bus stop to a movie theater and pay $10 to sit down in a movie theater only to be disappointed by yet another stupid movie? Can you understand why I might just consider finding a way to illegally download a movie off the internet? I'm not saying that this is what I do. I'm just trying to help you see why so many people who are like me resort to that.

I had a conversation about this with my Republican friend who favors capitalism and she defended you guys saying that you are just running a business. All these things you do are an effort to boost your pocketbooks. You have a product you think I want and you're doing everything you can to get as much money from me for it. I understand that.

However, there comes a time when I have to look at the crappy things I have bought from you over the years and realize that enough is enough. If I was a businessman, my top priority would be to keep my customers. I wouldn't sell them a shitty product that breaks after a month and then offer an "updated version" of that same product that might last a little longer. I would lose customers.

So am I boycotting movies? No, I'm not a big fan of boycotts. There was a time when I could look at a movie theater marque, run down the list of movies playing there and tell everyone that I had seen every single one of those movies. Those days are over. Now, I am okay with waiting until your substandard products are in the dollar bin at stores or more reasonably priced on used shelves. I'd much rather pay $7 for a movie on a used blu ray that came out a year ago than pay $30 for them when they first come out. Or better yet, I'd rather wait until I am able to get them free at the library. Eventually your movies will be old and boring to everyone else and then I can see them.

So there you have it. I hope I've enlightened you. I don't expect that you'll change your ways. In fact, I'm pretty sure you won't. I just thought you should have a better understanding of why people would rather watch your movies for free from online than overpay to see them or get them on home media.

Sincerely,
A former movie buff.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 4

The past couple mornings I again woke up at 4:30 but just couldn't drag myself out of bed to work out. To be fair, though, I did work out for 40 minutes last night while watching the Dancing with the Stars results show - reminding me once again why I hate results shows and why I should never work out while watching them. At one point after saying that the next results would be given after the commercial break, after announcing a safe couple that even deaf and blind people already knew were safe, Tom Bergeron said, "I know, I am a tease". Mr Host, I have another name for it!

This morning I was almost in an accident. Every morning I drive to Edmonds--about twenty minutes north of Seattle--and on the drive back, I take the carpool lane. Despite me being the only one on the bus, the law states that buses may lose the lane at all times. When I am in the lane, I rarely go above 55 MPH simply because it just isn't safe! When traffic is halted in the other lanes, the threat of last-minute, impatient drivers who swerve into the carpool lane to avoid the wait quadruples. That is what happened. I saw that traffic was stopped ahead so I slowed to around 45. When I was about 5 car lengths back from her, a stupid, stupid, STUPID driver swerved into the carpool lane in front of me--with only one click warning from her turn signal. I did three things at the same time: I hit the brakes, I hit the horn on my steering wheel, and I hit the air horn. If that didn't send a message, then nothing will. I avoided hitting her, but as I cursed her very existence all the way back to base, I wondered how satisfying it would have been to just hit her and get one more dipshit driver off the road--if only for a couple hours.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 2

Last night before going to bed I made a deal with myself. I set my alarm clock for 5:00am as usual, but I decided that if I woke up before then, I would get up and try to get a workout in. I woke up this morning right at 4:30, so I got out of bed and got started on Richard Simmon's Blast and Tone.

I made this deal because I knew that if I go to SMC rehearsal tonight, then it would be more difficult to workout today because I really hate working out in the middle of the day - sweat being a major factor when you're a big guy like me. Sure, I can take a shower, but that means using more water and I'm already paying for part of my neighbor's water use. In our building, they take the total usage of water for all four apartments and divide it by 4, despite the fact that two people are living in the apartment across the hall from me.

The workout went well, actually. It kinda woke me up, too. I noticed that I was yawning less on my morning route, at least. I might consider getting up early for workouts more often. I'm not sure if I could get up at 4:00am to make the trek to the workout room for an elliptical machine workout, but who knows.

I know I said I wasn't going to weigh myself everyday, but I did weigh myself this morning. I had actually gained 1/2 a pound from yesterday, but my scale also tracks body fat and according to that reading, my body fat has gone down 5%. If that fat became muscle, I can live with that, even if it didn't lose me any pounds.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 1 307lbs

I recently started watching Kirstie Alley's Big Life on A&E and she has inspired me. The show is about her efforts to lose weight along with her chubby buddy Jim and, I have a feeling, hawk her new weight loss supplement program. Still, I have been enjoying the show and there have been many times when I sighed while looking at myself in the mirror or groaned while bending over to tie my shoes or huffing and puffing up a hill or staircase. The other day I dropped my keys on the way home from work and I seriously began wondering if there was a window open I could climb through.

I weighed myself today and I'm at 307 pounds. Scary, isn't it?! Not nearly as scary as the "before" pictures I just took that I'll be posting to this blog.

I have decided that enough is enough! I am hoping to sing in the next Seattle Men's Chorus concert, the first of which is June 25th - two months from today, roughly 60 days. So I have set a goal for myself: I am going to lose at least 30 pounds in 60 days. That puts my goal weight (for this project) at 247 pounds.

I know I can do it because back in 2006 I lost 50 pounds. My brother Matt told me about the weight watchers point system and I applied it to my life. I worked out every day(ish) on the elliptical machine at the YMCA and occasionally threw in this Richard Simmon's workout video called Blast and Tone that is done with weights.

So I'm going to do it again. It's funny, but I almost typed in "try" but I had a Yoda moment: Do or do not. There is no try. *cough* GEEK! *cough*

So that's my goal and my plan. The reason I am going to blog this (and post hideous before pics) is because unlike Kirstie Alley, I do not have a chubby buddy. Nor do I have a personal trainer or millions of dollars to invest in a weight loss supplement. But I figure that if anyone reads this blog, they can help keep me in check and hold me accountable.

I checked Kirstie Alley's website and I can't even afford to purchase her diet supplement. I don't need it, though. I just need to eat less and exercise more. Thankfully I have 24 hour access to the workout room at my apartment complex which has my favorite workout tool, the elliptical machine. That machine is a serious treasure. If there was a fire, I would run over to the workout room and pull that thing to safety.

I'm also going to do that Richard Simmon's workout DVD I have, Blast and Tone. It is great because by using the weights, it helps you build some muscle and it also has a great (although brutal) abs section.

So that's my plan. Hopefully I can blog daily about my progress, though I think I'm going to limit weigh ins to once a week. I'll go crazy if I weigh myself daily. So if you are reading this, send me some encouragement, because I'll need it!

Oh, I just finished a workout on the elliptical machine for 40 minutes. That's why I look so terrible in the "before" pictures. Well, that and the flab hanging over the waist of my shorts. UGH! I look forward to that being gone!