Friday, May 15, 2009

Is it a sin?


I am currently reading a fantastic book right now. Usually, when I blog about something like that, I like to have finished the book before I discuss it. But I just finished reading a section that has really got me thinking and when I am thinking about something in this way, I have to write about it. It's just how I roll!

So first, let me explain about the book, then I'll get into what I just read...and thus, why I feel the need to write about it.

Thinking Straight is the second novel by Robin Reardon. I haven't read the first one yet, but I definitely plan to soon. Thinking Straight is about a gay teen named Taylor who, soon after finding the perfect boyfriend in another teen named Will, comes out to his parents. Naturally, his devoutly religious parents panic and send him to a Christian program called Straight to God. Taylor is told that he'll be forced to stay there until he is able to change his gay feelings.

When he first arrives at Straight to God, he is understandably angry. They thrust him into this invironment by calling his gay feelings sins from which he must be purged. To start the program, he is given a yellow sticker and told that for the first several days he'll be in "SafeZone" meaning that he cannot talk. The sticker will tell everyone else that he's in SafeZone so they won't try to make him talk.

Though it is clear that many people at Straight to God favor the belief that homosexuality is a sin from which the sinners must be purged, Taylor soon meets people within the program who have a different perspective.

Okay, I need to stop here because I'll start giving too much away and, frankly, if you're reading this, then I want you to consider reading Thinking Straight. I'll now talk about the segment of the book that has prompted me to start writing and hopefully give nothing more of the plot away.

There is discussion in the book about homosexuality as a sin. As a homosexual myself, I have struggled with the concept. My brother, who is a strong supporter of who I am, believes that being gay is not a sin, however acting on my sexual desires IS a sin. Even so, everyone is a sinner, so even though I may end up having sex with another man, I'm not any worse than a person who, for example, lies.

The people most vehemently against sexuality would argue that if I "choose" to be in a relationship with another man, and therefore have sex with him, then I am "choosing" to live in sin. That word "choose" is another one of those hot topics. Obviously, I don't choose to be gay. Trust me on this. Ellen Degeneres once asked Why would anyone choose to be gay? Why would someone choose the persecution and hatred of people? Why indeed? Believe me, had I actually had the choice, I would have had a thing for women so I could marry a nice girl and provide my parents with some awesome grandchildren.

This wasn't my choice, though. I am sexually attracted to men. Since I can't speak for straight people, I have to wonder if their attraction to the opposite sex is a choice. Did they choose to find it difficult to speak when around a member of the opposite sex? Did they find themselves choosing to have those natural desires about that person?

Ah, there's another word: "natural". You see, being gay is "unnatural", or so say the people against it. Another word is "normal". Personally, I have come to believe that normal is merely a setting on the washing machine. Anyway, what is "normal" exactly? Brown hair? Blond hair? Blue eyes? Brown eyes? Straight? Gay?

But I'm getting off topic, here, and that's just too easy a thing to do in this debate on homosexuality.

The thing I really want to talk about is homosexuality as a sin. Let's get back to the book. In the book several characters discuss the concept of sin. As a group, they come to the conclusion that sin is anything that takes us away from love. Love is what brings us to God, so anything that causes us to stray from love is a sin because it diverts us from that path to God.

Maybe that is too simplistic a summary of the discussion within the book. That's why I want to encourage you to read it and draw your own conclusions. But I really like this view of sin that the author makes. It makes sense to me that a sin would be something that takes a person away from love and, therefore, takes a person off the path to God.

So, by that definition of sin, is having sex with a member of the same sex a sin? If two men, for example, are deeply in love and having sex... are they removing themselves from the path to God? If you accept the above-mentioned view of love, then no, they are not. As with a male/female couple, the two men are expressing their love for each other. So how can that be a sin?

Let's look at the Bible - which they do in the book. In the Bible, homosexuality is called a sin. Why? Well, in Thinking Straight, the characters talk about when the Bible was written. Think about it... at that time, there wasn't security like retirement plans or savings accounts. Okay, in this day and age of a terrible economy, it would seem we are losing that, but for the sake of arguement, let's pretend that isn't happening!

Back in the days of the Bible, if someone didn't have kids who would care for them when they were older, then someone else, the community perhaps, would have to. They would essentially become a burden to the community. That might, in theory, cause people to depart from love. Maybe they'd be angry about the situation. Today, though, that wouldn't really be a problem. Today, homosexuals, though they don't have kids, can pretty much take care of themselves and aren't a burden on society (not counting the fact that so many people are still burdened by the concept of homosexuality).

So the theory is presented in the book that maybe back then, because homosexuality caused people to depart from love and therefore stray from that path to God, that it was a sin. It WAS a sin. Maybe it isn't a sin today because homosexualty doesn't affect people in that same way today.

Can something that was considered a sin back then, lose that status over time? Say, for example... Eating pig (Leviticus 11:7)? Eating shellfish (Leviticus 11:14)? Playing football (Levitivus 11:24-28)? Planting tulips with daffodiles (Leviticus 19:19)? Wearing a cotton-blend shirt (Leviticus 19:19)? Trimming your beard and side burns (Leviticus 19:27)? Getting a tatoo (Leviticus 19:28)? Working on Sunday, or whatever day you consider the Sabbath (Leviticus 19:30)? Standing up when an elderly person enters the room (Leviticus 19:32)? How about those sins that back then, required the sinner to be put to death: a son or daughter showing anger toward their parents - watch out teenagers (Leviticus 20:9), adultery (Leviticus 20:10)...

Today, many of those things wouldn't be considered sins. I mean who reading this loves to eat ham? Who reading this prefers to not have Elvis sideburns? Pastor...must you work on Sunday? So if these things aren't considered sins, why is homosexuality?

This is just what's on my mind right now. I really don't believe that expression of the love that one man has for another through sex is a sin. Granted, there are a lot of gay men out there who love to sleep around. I guess you could say there are a lot of gay men who love the freedom of multiple sex partners. But isn't that frowned upon as far as straight people go? If a gay couple is in a committed relationship, could their sexual activity be considered "making love?" If it IS "making love" then isn't it in keeping with the idea that they are still on that path of love to God?

Notice how I'm doing my best to not mention the fact that many people yell out "Oh God!" during sex? Really, I think that shows maturity!

So what do you think? Is this a sound arguement that maybe homosexuality isn't quite the sin that people still want to make it? Is it possible that, God willing, when I finally meet a guy who loves me and we enter into a relationship and we have sex out of love for each other, that we we won't be damning each other to hell because of it? I sure hope so.

I believe I was born gay. I believe that God made me gay. I believe that He's going to be okay with me having sex with a man with whom I am in love.

Now if only I could find that guy!

2 comments:

marQy said...

Oh my God, you just opened a can of worms. There is just too much on this post that I'd like to comment on but don't know where to begin. To paraphrase, I'm completely in agreement with all your points, being gay myself. Just one thing, I read Robin Reardon's first novel, A Secret Edge, a couple of years back. I vaguely remember it now but I do know that I loved the book and that I gave it to a friend so I can share the story. Thanks for the heads up on this one.

p.s. will follow you on twitterverse!

Benj said...

Let me know what you think of it when you read it. I have A Secret Edge and now I can't wait to read it!