Back in Black

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Back in Black - Glenn Beck's Nazi Tourette's
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Lewis Black shines in this segment! I have been thinking a lot about the Arizona "Papers, Please" law--mainly because it's been all over The Daily Show, Colbert Report and Rachel Maddow show. While I agree that it is important that the issue of illegal immigration is extremely important, I think anyone with common sense realizes that Arizona's plan is flawed on so many levels that one needs an elevator just to touch on them.

Right next to our bus lot is a Home Depot and gathered at all of the entrances to it are crowds of Hispanic men looking to find labor. This has actually caused problems in the neighborhood. For one thing, I've witnessed at least ten instances where someone stopped in the parking lot to answer a cell phone call or check for something in a bag and suddenly panicking as their cars were by the crowd of Hispanic men looking for work and thinking some was about to be offered. Sometimes, people in cars who are actually looking for work will block the entrance to the Home Depot (and the Best Buy next to it) to talk to these men. I have even seen people block a lane of traffic to do it. My co-worker and friend Liz can't walk by them (even on the other side of the street) because they whistle and catcall to her. Drivers have seen these men entering our lot to urinate behind the buses. Come ON! I have to walk back there to pre-trip my bus!

I realize the men are just trying to find work, but I've often wondered if standing around hoping it comes to you is really a good way to find an income. It has been suggested that most of the men are illegal immigrants and are therefore unable to go out and seek work.

Does this mean I want a law similar to Arizona to be passed here in Washington? HELL NO! Sure, it would clean up the problem down at the Home Depot, but I think it would also cause problems for legitimate immigrants who have legally gone through the process. All I am saying is that I agree something should be done, but I don't think forcing them to tattoo a Mexican flag on their foreheads is the way to go. Yes, Glenn Beck, that is a throwback to Nazi Germany. Are ya gonna lash out at me for taking my analogy too far?

I wonder if anyone in the Republican Party has caught on yet to how easily their hypocrisy is seen? I mean comics don't even have to do any major digging to find it. Hell, anti-gay activist George Rekers was photographed at the airport attending his own bags and standing next to the guy he claimed was hired to carry his luggage. Anyone with half a brain knew that the rent boy was handling something of George Rekers', but it wasn't his luggage. Of course, according to Rekers, gay sex is an abomination and no rights should be given to anyone who partakes of it.

I suppose we should all be grateful to the Republican Party. Without them life wouldn't be as entertaining.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 14 304lbs

Grrr! I weighed myself this morning and I didn't lose anything from last week. I sort of fell off the wagon - eating things I shouldn't eat and not working out enough. Oh well, at least I didn't gain anything.

Last Friday I went to see Captain Smartypants at Seattle Town Hall. They are a small singing group affiliated with the Seattle Men's Chorus. As this is their 10th anniversary, they celebrated by performing a "best of" collection of performances over the years. As always, the show was fantastic and I am tempted to buy another ticket to see the show again in a couple weeks. I need to be careful, though, because I've already bought a ticket to Stars on Ice at the end of May and a ticket to the SMC concert Glitter and be Gay.

I am still stressed about the potential for fewer hours at work next year. My brother and his wife are thinking about taking an Alaskan cruise this summer and invited me along, but I am struggling with the idea of paying for a cruise in light of my worries about next year. I love Alaska (despite a former governor) and could really use a vacation, but I'm not sure if it'll happen.

I finally watched The Blind Side yesterday and loved it. Sandra Bullock definitely deserved to win the Oscar for her performance. Yes, I cried at the end.

Betty White was on Saturday Night live last night and it was easily the best episode since Tina Fey as Palin. She truly is America's gem! They even brought back many former SNL alum: Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Anna Gasteyer, Amy Phoeller, Maya Rudolph... It was a really fun show to watch, though I did fast forward through the Jay-Z performances. Just not my style of music.

I am thinking that I won't be able to make my 30lb goal by the end of June. I thought it would be easily attainable, but it would seem as though those days when I was young and could take off weight faster I behind me. I saw myself in the mirror a couple days ago and had to wonder where the old guy with gray hair came from - I sure didn't invite him!

*sigh*

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 8 304lbs

So I have good news and bad news. The good news, as you can tell from the title, is that I've lost three pounds. The bad news is that I ONLY lost three pounds! I was really hoping to lose at least 5 pounds a week. I guess I should be happy that I didn't gain weight - the pickles must be working for me.

The other good news is that I know why I only lost three pounds - I really didn't work out faithfully. I probably only legitimately worked out four of the seven days this week. The bad news is that I REALLY hate working out - even if Lady Gaga is helping me.

I think I also did a little cheating this week, too. I didn't eat terrible things, just sometimes more than I should have of the good things - take for example, those yummy chocolate rice cakes. I would also eat too many yogurts or grab too many sting cheeses to curb that hunger feeling.

Oh well, at least I lost weight rather than gain. At least when I stand on the scale, it actually registers a number as opposed to OL which I can only take to mean OH LORD (This guy is really heavy)! Or, you know, Over Limit. Whatever.

I had fun with my cousin today. We've been having game nights once a month, but that time for fun is almost over. She's graduating at the end of the month and then moving back to Idaho. I'm going to miss the game nights because they are such a joy! Hey, is there anyone out there (who lives near me) that loves playing board games? If you're too competitive, it's all good because so is my cousin. (Don't deny it, Jessica!) I am now taking applications. If you're cute and gay, that is a plus!!

Dear Movie Companies...

Dear movie companies,

It has occurred to me that you are getting more and more angry about the people who go online to illegally download your movies rather than paying to see them in the theater or buying your blu ray and DVDs. For several years, now, you have stuck gestapo-type ads on your DVDs warning that downloading movies off the internet is the same as stealing from your mother's purse or robbing a store. You seem to be shocked that people are breaking the law to see your movies.

Is it really a surprise, though? Are you truly baffled? Do you really not understand why people would rather see your movies for free than overpay to see them in theaters or buy them on home media? Perhaps I can help explain.

Recently, Warner Brothers struck a deal with the popular online rental company Netflix who have lately been promoting their "Watch Instantly" program. While customers are waiting for their DVDs and Blu Ray to arrive in the mail, they have the option to instantly watch a movie on their computer or TV, streaming from Netflix. The deal was that you would allow Netflix to show more movies from Warner Brother's production companies in exchange for Netflix delaying their rental dates. This meant that a movie such as "Where the Wild Things Are" which was released on March 2, 2010, would not be available for rental through Netflix until April 2, 2010. Warner Brother's also promised that more copies would be available to Netflix so that there wouldn't be long wait times for customers to receive the movies. Now other movie companies have followed this trend.

Well, I have had "Where the Wild Things Are" at the top of my Netflix queue and, nearly two months later, I still haven't been able to rent it. Yesterday, however, I did finally get the movie "The Box". It wasn't a movie I was dying to see, but one that I was somewhat interested in viewing. As I took the blu ray copy out of the Netflix sleeve I couldn't help but notice the words (in a font larger than the movie title) "Rental Copy". When I put the Blu ray in my player, I sat through several previews before finally getting to the Main Menu. Imagine my surprise when I noticed that there was no bonus features menu listed. I went online and found a review of the blu ray and discovered that there were supposed to be several "making of" documentaries on the disc, but my copy, the "rental copy" didn't have them. Now, I realized that not many people really care about special features or "making of" documentaries, but I am a major geek and I LOVE them and I was upset that I wouldn't be able to see any for this movie.

I see what you guys are doing here. You're trying to get me to buy your DVDs and Blu Ray rather than rent them. I totally get that! You're running a business and trying to make money. But you see, there is a reason I don't always like buying your DVDs and Blu Rays.

Last week, the popular movie Avatar came out on DVD and Blu Ray. I was excited about that! I really enjoyed the movie and was looking forward to seeing it again. But then I found out something disturbing. There are absolutely NO special features. NOT ONE! Not even a trailer! How is it possible that a movie as technically advanced as Avatar doesn't have any documentaries about the making of it? Well you see, I discovered that Fox plans to release a "special edition" later in November. This brings me to my next gripe with you movie companies: Double Dipping.

It has become a trend for you guys to release a "bare bones" edition of a movie and then, six months later, release the "special edition" with all those cool new features I crave. Your hope is that I will buy your "bare bones" version AND the "special edition" so you guys make more money from me. Thankfully I was never a fan of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I think there were three or four different versions of each of those movies released!

Do you understand why I would rather rent one of your movies than buy it? I definitely don't want to buy a movie that I haven't even seen! Well, you might say, why don't I just go see your movies in the theaters?

Have you seen the price of movie tickets lately? I'm surprised you don't have loan sharks outside movie theaters trying to lend money to patrons. Usually when I go to a movie, I try to see a matinee showing and most theaters now charge close to $10 for a movie. $10! Ten dollars! For a matinee! Another Hollywood trend is that ultra cool 3D technology! Movies that were never intended to be shown in 3D are now being quickly formatted before their releases so you can charge an extra $5 onto a movie ticket. So that means a matinee 3D movie could end up costing me around $15. $15! Fifteen dollars!

Most times I elect to see the movie in good, old fashioned 2D. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but lately, more and more movies are starting to suck. Few and far between are the movies like (500) Days of Summer or Slumdog Millionaire or Zombieland. More and more movies end up being like Twilight or Clash of the Titans or *shudder* Transformers 2. Hollywood seems to favor large explosions and ridiculous special effects over realistic characters, plausible story lines and more meaningful two hours spent in a movie theater.

Now, I realize that my taste in movies might be far different from the mass majority. Perhaps that is my fault. But can you rich producers understand why I might hesitate to plan out bus routes, walk from a bus stop to a movie theater and pay $10 to sit down in a movie theater only to be disappointed by yet another stupid movie? Can you understand why I might just consider finding a way to illegally download a movie off the internet? I'm not saying that this is what I do. I'm just trying to help you see why so many people who are like me resort to that.

I had a conversation about this with my Republican friend who favors capitalism and she defended you guys saying that you are just running a business. All these things you do are an effort to boost your pocketbooks. You have a product you think I want and you're doing everything you can to get as much money from me for it. I understand that.

However, there comes a time when I have to look at the crappy things I have bought from you over the years and realize that enough is enough. If I was a businessman, my top priority would be to keep my customers. I wouldn't sell them a shitty product that breaks after a month and then offer an "updated version" of that same product that might last a little longer. I would lose customers.

So am I boycotting movies? No, I'm not a big fan of boycotts. There was a time when I could look at a movie theater marque, run down the list of movies playing there and tell everyone that I had seen every single one of those movies. Those days are over. Now, I am okay with waiting until your substandard products are in the dollar bin at stores or more reasonably priced on used shelves. I'd much rather pay $7 for a movie on a used blu ray that came out a year ago than pay $30 for them when they first come out. Or better yet, I'd rather wait until I am able to get them free at the library. Eventually your movies will be old and boring to everyone else and then I can see them.

So there you have it. I hope I've enlightened you. I don't expect that you'll change your ways. In fact, I'm pretty sure you won't. I just thought you should have a better understanding of why people would rather watch your movies for free from online than overpay to see them or get them on home media.

Sincerely,
A former movie buff.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 4

The past couple mornings I again woke up at 4:30 but just couldn't drag myself out of bed to work out. To be fair, though, I did work out for 40 minutes last night while watching the Dancing with the Stars results show - reminding me once again why I hate results shows and why I should never work out while watching them. At one point after saying that the next results would be given after the commercial break, after announcing a safe couple that even deaf and blind people already knew were safe, Tom Bergeron said, "I know, I am a tease". Mr Host, I have another name for it!

This morning I was almost in an accident. Every morning I drive to Edmonds--about twenty minutes north of Seattle--and on the drive back, I take the carpool lane. Despite me being the only one on the bus, the law states that buses may lose the lane at all times. When I am in the lane, I rarely go above 55 MPH simply because it just isn't safe! When traffic is halted in the other lanes, the threat of last-minute, impatient drivers who swerve into the carpool lane to avoid the wait quadruples. That is what happened. I saw that traffic was stopped ahead so I slowed to around 45. When I was about 5 car lengths back from her, a stupid, stupid, STUPID driver swerved into the carpool lane in front of me--with only one click warning from her turn signal. I did three things at the same time: I hit the brakes, I hit the horn on my steering wheel, and I hit the air horn. If that didn't send a message, then nothing will. I avoided hitting her, but as I cursed her very existence all the way back to base, I wondered how satisfying it would have been to just hit her and get one more dipshit driver off the road--if only for a couple hours.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 2

Last night before going to bed I made a deal with myself. I set my alarm clock for 5:00am as usual, but I decided that if I woke up before then, I would get up and try to get a workout in. I woke up this morning right at 4:30, so I got out of bed and got started on Richard Simmon's Blast and Tone.

I made this deal because I knew that if I go to SMC rehearsal tonight, then it would be more difficult to workout today because I really hate working out in the middle of the day - sweat being a major factor when you're a big guy like me. Sure, I can take a shower, but that means using more water and I'm already paying for part of my neighbor's water use. In our building, they take the total usage of water for all four apartments and divide it by 4, despite the fact that two people are living in the apartment across the hall from me.

The workout went well, actually. It kinda woke me up, too. I noticed that I was yawning less on my morning route, at least. I might consider getting up early for workouts more often. I'm not sure if I could get up at 4:00am to make the trek to the workout room for an elliptical machine workout, but who knows.

I know I said I wasn't going to weigh myself everyday, but I did weigh myself this morning. I had actually gained 1/2 a pound from yesterday, but my scale also tracks body fat and according to that reading, my body fat has gone down 5%. If that fat became muscle, I can live with that, even if it didn't lose me any pounds.

60 Days, 30lbs - Day 1 307lbs

I recently started watching Kirstie Alley's Big Life on A&E and she has inspired me. The show is about her efforts to lose weight along with her chubby buddy Jim and, I have a feeling, hawk her new weight loss supplement program. Still, I have been enjoying the show and there have been many times when I sighed while looking at myself in the mirror or groaned while bending over to tie my shoes or huffing and puffing up a hill or staircase. The other day I dropped my keys on the way home from work and I seriously began wondering if there was a window open I could climb through.

I weighed myself today and I'm at 307 pounds. Scary, isn't it?! Not nearly as scary as the "before" pictures I just took that I'll be posting to this blog.

I have decided that enough is enough! I am hoping to sing in the next Seattle Men's Chorus concert, the first of which is June 25th - two months from today, roughly 60 days. So I have set a goal for myself: I am going to lose at least 30 pounds in 60 days. That puts my goal weight (for this project) at 247 pounds.

I know I can do it because back in 2006 I lost 50 pounds. My brother Matt told me about the weight watchers point system and I applied it to my life. I worked out every day(ish) on the elliptical machine at the YMCA and occasionally threw in this Richard Simmon's workout video called Blast and Tone that is done with weights.

So I'm going to do it again. It's funny, but I almost typed in "try" but I had a Yoda moment: Do or do not. There is no try. *cough* GEEK! *cough*

So that's my goal and my plan. The reason I am going to blog this (and post hideous before pics) is because unlike Kirstie Alley, I do not have a chubby buddy. Nor do I have a personal trainer or millions of dollars to invest in a weight loss supplement. But I figure that if anyone reads this blog, they can help keep me in check and hold me accountable.

I checked Kirstie Alley's website and I can't even afford to purchase her diet supplement. I don't need it, though. I just need to eat less and exercise more. Thankfully I have 24 hour access to the workout room at my apartment complex which has my favorite workout tool, the elliptical machine. That machine is a serious treasure. If there was a fire, I would run over to the workout room and pull that thing to safety.

I'm also going to do that Richard Simmon's workout DVD I have, Blast and Tone. It is great because by using the weights, it helps you build some muscle and it also has a great (although brutal) abs section.

So that's my plan. Hopefully I can blog daily about my progress, though I think I'm going to limit weigh ins to once a week. I'll go crazy if I weigh myself daily. So if you are reading this, send me some encouragement, because I'll need it!

Oh, I just finished a workout on the elliptical machine for 40 minutes. That's why I look so terrible in the "before" pictures. Well, that and the flab hanging over the waist of my shorts. UGH! I look forward to that being gone!