Band Fags! by Frank Anthony Polito

I just finished reading my first book of 2009: Band Fags! by Frank Anthony Polito. It is the story about a teenager named Jack. He has a pretty good life with all the neat things a teenager growing up in the 80's could want: Beta tape player, Atari 5200, and a parent-pleasing GPA. He's a smart kid, but he's still a kid and he's going to make mistakes. As the story continues, we follow Jack through middle school and into high school. We see his first loves, his awkward dates and growing friendships. Oh...and he might be gay, too.

Band Fags is a term often used to describe anyone in the band - not just the ones who are actually gay. As I've read reviews of this book, I've seen many complain about the title. It is definately one that catches the attention. I must confess that I started reading this book during Christmas Vacation, hoping that I could finish it by the time school started up again. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to read it at work on a school bus. Since I didn't finish it in time, but was too unwilling to give up on it, I did my best to hide the cover out of shame.

How sad. I'm still hiding things with regards to homosexuality because I don't want to offend anyone. One morning I was reading the book between school runs. I had a layover at my first stop where I usually have time to read as students start loading on my bus before the depart time. One mother brought her daughter and, as she usually does, asked what I was reading. Without anything, I showed her the cover and wasn't surprised as she blanched slightly when she read the title.

"What is it about?" she asked.

"It's about stereotypes," I finally answered, not wanting to get into much more than that. She accepted my description and went on about her day.

Actually, that's a pretty decent explanation for this book. It is about the stereotypes that end up lumping people with labels. Like Band Fag, Jock Jerk, Drama Queer, etc. It ends up being expected that people who like certain things have to be a certain way. For Jack, his self-identity is often scrutinized by those stereotypes and this leads him to troubling conclusions.

Of course, it is about so much more than this trite summary. It's about a boy coming to terms with his sexuality. It is about dedication to friendship, first loves, bad choices, peer pressure. It is also a really fun look back at the 80's. Polito flavors the book with some great 80's references that will often take you back to those days - even though you may have tried blocking those memories our of embarrassment. Why did everyone say "dude" all the time?

There was one point where Jack talks about an HBO special he found called Women of the Night. The special starred four amazing female comics: Ellen DeGeneres, Rita Rudner, Juda Tenuta and Paula Poundstone. I had to laugh while I read that because I not only saw that special, but bought it on video tape! What he doesn't mention in the book was that it was also hosted by Martin Short and featured Marc Shaiman on the piano! I loved that show so much! That's the kind of memories this book will most likely invoke for people who grew up during the 80's.

Another really amazing (and difficult) part of the book dealt with how Jack despised himself when he finally gave in to his homosexual feelings and began to "fool around." He describes looking in the mirror and hating what he sees. He climbs into the shower and vigorously scrubs himself, hoping to wash away the sins. He prays that God will make him normal. He brushes his teeth over and over, scrubs his tongue, rinses with mouthwash - all in an attempt to cleanse himself.

This was a very important part of the book for me. When I was in college, I was still very closeted. I knew the feelings were there but I wanted so badly for them to not be. Every weekday morning we had chapel and I was often sitting there in a pew praying that God would make me normal. I would say things like "This is a sick, sinful thing I keep thinking about! Please help me get rid of these thoughts, Lord." I went through such torment because for so long I had been led to believe it was wrong. If I could have pulled out my brain and scrubbed it I would have, so guilty did I feel.

I very much enjoyed Band Fags! It is so much more than just a coming out story. It is a look at the struggles of not just a gay teen, but teens in general. It is also a great time travel back to a decade of bad hair, great music and embarrassing fads.