Wat u into?

I recently read a blog post by a gay writer that I follow on Twitter. In the post, he talked about a question he gets a lot on dating websites: "Do you like straight guys?" He then went on to explain why he doesn't like that question.

His blog (and a comment from a friend of mine that I don't blog enough) inspired me to write this entry about two questions I often get that bug the hell out of me.

The first is: "ASL?" For those of you not in the know, this stands for "Age, Sex, Location?". All too often, this is the first thing that follows "Hey" or "Hi". The reason the question bugs me, though, is that I took great effort into putting most of that information on my profile. If you're too lazy to look up my profile, then the odds of us having a meaningful conversation are pretty low. I have probably missed out on some decent guys by ignoring them when they asked it, but my guess is that the majority of the guys I ignored won't be missed.

The other question that nags at me is the one that irritates me the most: "What are you into?" More often, the question is asked "What you into?" or even worse "wat u into?"

The first time I got the question, I stared at it for so long that the guy ended up sending "are you still there?" I had no clue what he meant. Did he mean my hobbies and interests? Did he mean what movies or music I like? Was he hoping I'd respond with "Hopefully YOU tonight!"?

I never know how to answer this question. Even after years of getting it, I still don't. The reason for this is that when I finally ask the guy to explain exactly what information he wants from me, I get several different responses:

1) Gay, bi or straight?
2) Top or bottom?
3) Kissing, cuddling or just sex?

So, now when I get that question, I respond with the same thing every time: "The usual." That's right, I'm going to make the guy do a little research. I'm going to make him ask the questions that force him to clarify if he wants me to respond in general or with a kinky gutter response. Frankly, I'm too afraid that I'll respond in a kinky way and he'll type back "No, I mean what room of the house are you in?"

"Oh... um... I actually live in an apartment."