My two minutes of Fame

The district that I drive for recently interviewed me and posted a two minute video on the website.  I've become quite the celebrity; the superintendent sent out a district-wide email mentioning my video.  I am trying to not let it go to my head.

You can't have it both ways

This story has been going around a lot lately, but it wasn't until today that I actually watched the video. Pat Robertson's response to this issue makes me so angry and I think it has something to do with the book I am currently reading, Religion Gone Bad by Mel White. In his book, White, a former ghostwriter for many Fundamentalist Christian leaders, exposes the dangerous rhetoric used by these leaders in their fight against gay rights. Robertson features prominently in the book, so watching this clip really got me thinking about his blatant hypocrisy.

First a little history about my knowledge of Pat Robertson.

My mom is a long-time fan of The 700 Club. When I was a kid, I admit that I spent many hours watching Pat Robertson. I don't remember a lot of what was talked about, but I believe that it led to the turmoil I would later face as a teenager realizing my sexuality.

As far as I know, my mom still very much listens to and believes the things Robertson says. Several years ago, my brother and I were discussing Muslims with our parents. Dad had read a book about the religion and came away from it believing that their religion was founded on Satanic principles and that all Muslims worship Satan. My brother and I tried desperately to separate the horrific actions of the extremist terrorists of 9/11 and the rest of the Muslim faith, but our parents wouldn't have it.

Finally, my mom said, "BOYS! ENOUGH! You need to listen to what your father is saying. He read that book and we both watch the news on The 700 Club!" Both my brother and I were speechless. Later, my brother confirmed that I had heard my mom correctly. I don't think my mom is alone in her belief that The 700 Club is a valid news source.

But I digress... Back to my point.

Pat Robertson has dedicated his life and his ministry to fighting gay rights. He firmly believes that the Bible condemns gay people to hell and he sees it as his mission to save America from the wrath of God by denying gay people the basic human rights of marriage.

So when I watched that clip, I was shocked to hear him say that it's okay for a man to divorce his wife because she has Alzheimer's. Really? I find that extremely interesting since the Bible specifically admonishes people who have gotten a divorce. But see, Pat Robertson and the Fundamentalist leaders like him pick and choose things in the Bible; God hates this, but He'll turn a blind eye to that.

If you're going to fight the rights of gay people and use your belief in the Bible as the reason, then you can't turn around and tell a man that it's okay for him to break his marriage vows simply because his wife has Alzheimer's when the Bible forbids it.

You can't have it both ways, Pat.

It gets better

I really do love Dan Savage and Terry Miller for starting this amazing campaign. I wish I had done this sooner. Anyway, better late than never, I guess. So here is my "It gets better" story. My apologies that it's so long...

I was one of the lucky gays. I was never bullied or beat up in high school or college for being gay. During my high school sophomore year I was bullied by a kid who claimed I owed him $20, but one day he pantsed an Asian kid who turned around and punched him in the face. Watching the bully sit on the ground with a dumb look on his face while everyone laughed was satisfying and it gave me enough confidence to stop ditching PE so I would pass the class.

I did, however, face a bully in high school and college, but I have no one else to blame for it but myself. What? I’m blaming the victim? Yes, I am, because the victim was also the bully. I was literally my own worst enemy growing up.

In high school, I was really disturbed by the fact that I found boys more attractive than girls. I only had a handful of “gay” experiences in high school—none of them more involved than just seeing the other guy naked—but after each time I felt this pressuring weight of guilt. I felt like the dirtiest high school boy alive.

The mental self-flagellation was worse every time I finished masturbating. Sometimes, I’d try to picture straight sex, but I inevitably began focusing more and more on the guy in the fantasy. Then I would finish my self-pleasuring and begin the mental self-flagellation with profound Catholic guilt—and I was Lutheran. It was extremely confusing.

I had been raised with deep Lutheran roots. My parents were actively involved in the church and strongly encouraged that from my brother and me. We were in bell choir and the praise choir, we were both acolytes, we occasionally led the readings in church services, sometimes we would serve as ushers and we were both actively involved in the youth program. I didn’t despise any of that activity—in fact I loved being that involved in the church. I made friends in all aspects of my church life; people of all ages.

However, like most gay Christians, therein began my inner conflict. I had heard all the Bible verses condemning those filthy homosexuals. I remember watching a movie or TV show with my family and one of the characters had AIDS and was getting sick. I remember my mom saying, “Remember that, boys. Men who have sex with other men get AIDS and die.” This was during the Reagan years when there was a lot of misinformation about AIDS. It frightened me because I knew that every time I masturbated, I was thinking about sex with other boys and I was certain that doing so would give me AIDS and I would die; not to mention the deep impacting shame I would inflict on my poor, unsuspecting family!

I graduated from high school and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I hadn’t done the required high school senior college searching, so I settled on the local community college with a liberal arts focus where I skated through my first year with a C average. I found ultimate freedom despite still living with my parents. I had my own car and a LOT of free time between classes, so it wasn’t uncommon for me to go to the movies. I could look up at the marquee of a movie theater and proudly claim that I’d seen all of the movies listed there.

It was quickly becoming apparent that I wasn’t taking community college very seriously and I needed to find some direction in my life. My pastor told me about a Lutheran college in the Northwest. He suggested that I might find the needed guidance there. Since I was coasting through the community college and didn’t really care much about what I was learning, it was decided that I would apply at the Lutheran college and move to Washington State if I was accepted.

In August of 1995, I packed everything I owned into my small Chevy Spectrum and drove north. I loved college life away from my parents. I had even more freedom! I also fell in love with the Northwest. It was my kind of place. I loved the people, I loved Seattle and I even loved the weather.

I’ll never forget my first trip home for Christmas during my first year of college. I had forgotten to pack my toothbrush and I remember saying to Mom: “I need to go to the store to buy a new toothbrush because I left mine back home.” I didn’t even think about what I had said, but my mom did. She even commented, “I thought this was your home.” The truth was, I felt like Washington was where I belonged. I felt like I was destined to be there and even now, 16 years later, I still can’t imagine living anywhere else. This is as much my home now as it was back then.

College life wasn’t all fun and games, though. I was still living a double life. On the outside, I was a heterosexual who proudly displayed photos of my favorite actress— Helen Hunt—on the wall outside my dorm room. On the inside, I was a self-hating gay guy who was developing crushes on other college boys.

We had chapel services every weekday at the college and I (mostly) attended them. At this point, I started turning to God with my problem. I would beg, I would plead, I would bargain with Him. I wanted him to take away all my gay thoughts and feelings and start making me attracted to women. The days passed but my attraction to men did not. I started hating myself even more.

This torment tore at me. I knew that I was supposed to be a normal straight guy, but I just couldn’t do it. Oh sure, I could pretend and tell people that I loved my best friend in college “like a brother” but I knew that I was falling in love with him.

I met Gavin my first year. He was a sophomore who was neighbors with a friend of mine named Curt, also a freshman. I had the hots for Curt in the worst way, so I often tried to hang out with him as much as possible. One day, he offered to let me watch a movie in his room. He was one of the few people on campus with a TV and VCR in his room, so this was a major treat!

When I showed up to watch a movie, I found Curt in Gavin’s room, using his computer. He had forgotten that he had also traded use of his VCR and TV to his next-door-neighbor for use of his computer to write a term paper—one that I was also supposed to be working on. He asked if I minded watching a movie with Gavin.

Gavin had blue eyes and long blond hair that he pulled back in a pony-tail. I had never been attracted to guys with long hair so I immediately figured that this guy and I would have nothing in common. He told me that he was going to watch Return of the Jedi. As a Star Wars fan, I shrugged and said, “Sure, sounds great to me.”

Gavin and I talked through the whole movie. We were both major Star Wars geeks, so we had a lot of trivia to cover. We knew that a prequel trilogy was in the works, so that took up a lot of our discussion. Gavin was also a fan of John Williams, the composer of not just the Star Wars movies, but many other movie soundtracks. It blew me away that there was another guy out there who collected John Williams’ scores! By the end of Return of the Jedi, I felt like I had known Gavin my whole life.

I started hanging out with Gavin more often than Curt and a friendship quickly developed. After a couple of years, Curt left the college and I moved into his dorm room next to Gavin’s. I wish I could remember the moment when I started falling in love with Gavin, but I don’t.

I do remember the crushing blow I felt when he started dating a mutual friend of ours—a woman. Their relationship didn’t last, but it began a painful realization for me: Gavin was straight and there was no way he was ever going to be my boyfriend. He eventually met and started dating the woman he would eventually marry and that almost ruined our friendship. I was just too much the jealous type.

One night, Gavin was in my room and he was talking about his feelings for his future wife. I’m not sure how it happened, but we eventually started talking about honesty in a relationship. I let it slip that there was a big part of me (that was annoyingly NOT going away) that would be hard to be honest about with a woman if I ever dated one.

This intrigued Gavin and he wanted to know what it was. I couldn’t tell him, though, so he ended up guessing. I can’t remember all the things he listed, but finally, after listing things for several minutes, he said, “Well you can’t be gay. You have those pictures of Helen Hunt on the wall.” I just looked up at him and instead of saying no as I had for the other items on his list, I said nothing. For the first time in my life, I had just come out to someone!

Gavin is a very smart guy and he realized that I was falling in love with him. This freaked him out, so he decided to go to our floor’s Resident Assistant for advice. What he didn’t know (I didn’t either) was that Paul was also gay, so while Gavin was telling him about this guy on our floor that he thought might be gay and falling in love with him, Paul was panicking because he thought Gavin was referring to him. Eventually my name came up and Paul’s worry was eased.

Paul ended up taking me under his wing. He introduced me to the “gaybourhood” in Seattle up on Capitol Hill. He showed me several gay bookstores where I discovered the many wonderful gay authors that I have come to love. He introduced me to the fine art of guy cruising. He introduced me to XY, the magazine for gay men with many articles that helped me sort out the things I had been dealing with regarding my sexuality.

Paul and I never became boyfriends and never had sex (though Lord knows I wanted both). He did, however, introduce me to the gay culture. I began to realize that being gay wasn’t the bad thing I had always thought it to be. There were amazing, confident gay people all around me and they contributed great things to society—I mean just look at Dan Savage!

I credit Paul with helping me come out to myself. I finally gave up the notion that I could miraculously start liking women. I realized that it is okay to be gay. There was nothing I could do about it, so I would have a happier life if I embraced it and stopped fighting it.

I started going to gay chat rooms online and meeting other gay guys around the world. I met an amazing guy named Neil who lives in Texas. He and I have only officially met in person once, but he’s one of my best friends. He’s the guy I go to for advice in all aspects of my life. Imagine if I had never found acceptance in myself! I never would have had found that strong relationship.

It took me many, many more years before I was able to come out to my family, but once I was able to defeat that life-long inner bully that I had been facing, I was able to begin that journey of coming out publically.

Today, I may not yet have a boyfriend, but I have a lot of weight lifted off my shoulders. When I was 30, I auditioned for the Seattle Men’s Chorus and it was through them that I found the courage to come out to my family. My parents were shocked, but somewhat accepting of it. They don’t like it, but they didn’t disown me, so I consider that a win. My brother literally said, “FINALLY!” when I told him I had come out to our parents. He and his wife are supportive.

Paul is still introducing me to new things. Just the other day he told me about a fantastic a cappella group that he found on YouTube. I will always credit him with helping me take those first steps toward self-acceptance. Paul was the first one to help me battle that bully.

Gavin and I are still best friends. He married the woman he met in college and they now have two beautiful kids. His parents still live north of Seattle, so every couple years he and I get to hang out. Even after all these years, he is still such an important part of my life. I still love him very much and treasure the friendship we have. He is a strong supporter of gay rights, though, as he often jokes, he has to be in the closet about it because he is a pastor for a congregation that isn’t quite where he is regarding gay rights. During our last visit together, he told me that his most lasting friendships have been with gay men and he admitted that before he met me, he was a bit homophobic himself.

So, I want to address all the gay teens out there that are struggling with their sexual identity and wishing that they could change it. Don’t beat yourself up. It is just not worth it. I know exactly what you’re going through. Maybe like me you’re trying to make deals with God, hoping He’ll change you. I’m living proof that He won’t. My guess is, he made you the way you are for a reason. Oh yes, He made you that way and He doesn’t make mistakes. You are exactly who you are meant to be, so don’t fight it; embrace it.

Seek out your “Paul”. There are people who can help introduce you to the fabulous gay world that awaits you. Those people will help you find comfort in yourself. Trust me, they are good people.

But please don’t give up. Don’t allow your inner bully to win. There are still many people who are uncomfortable with gay people like Gavin was. I bet that once they meet you in all your awesomeness, they’ll start rethinking everything they have been told about homosexuality. Through you, they might discover that gay people are just as normal as everyone else. That can’t happen if you deprive the world of the amazing person that is you. Then, I promise, you’ll start meeting the people like Neil.

Hang in there. I promise it does get better!

Wat u into?

I recently read a blog post by a gay writer that I follow on Twitter. In the post, he talked about a question he gets a lot on dating websites: "Do you like straight guys?" He then went on to explain why he doesn't like that question.

His blog (and a comment from a friend of mine that I don't blog enough) inspired me to write this entry about two questions I often get that bug the hell out of me.

The first is: "ASL?" For those of you not in the know, this stands for "Age, Sex, Location?". All too often, this is the first thing that follows "Hey" or "Hi". The reason the question bugs me, though, is that I took great effort into putting most of that information on my profile. If you're too lazy to look up my profile, then the odds of us having a meaningful conversation are pretty low. I have probably missed out on some decent guys by ignoring them when they asked it, but my guess is that the majority of the guys I ignored won't be missed.

The other question that nags at me is the one that irritates me the most: "What are you into?" More often, the question is asked "What you into?" or even worse "wat u into?"

The first time I got the question, I stared at it for so long that the guy ended up sending "are you still there?" I had no clue what he meant. Did he mean my hobbies and interests? Did he mean what movies or music I like? Was he hoping I'd respond with "Hopefully YOU tonight!"?

I never know how to answer this question. Even after years of getting it, I still don't. The reason for this is that when I finally ask the guy to explain exactly what information he wants from me, I get several different responses:

1) Gay, bi or straight?
2) Top or bottom?
3) Kissing, cuddling or just sex?

So, now when I get that question, I respond with the same thing every time: "The usual." That's right, I'm going to make the guy do a little research. I'm going to make him ask the questions that force him to clarify if he wants me to respond in general or with a kinky gutter response. Frankly, I'm too afraid that I'll respond in a kinky way and he'll type back "No, I mean what room of the house are you in?"

"Oh... um... I actually live in an apartment."

Halloween Movie Night #28 - Saw 6

Don't read this unless you've seen the first 5 Saw movies.

This is another one of my favorites in the Saw series. First of all, the story is well crafted and once again, as in Saw 3, the twist is cleverly hidden through misdirection. Second, who hasn't wanted to put an insurance adjuster through a horrific game like this?! Does this make me a bad person? Probably.

In Saw 6, an insurance adjuster who has denied the claims of dying people is put to the test in a grisly game - one of the final ones designed by the original Jigsaw. Hoffman is still trying to carry on John Kramer's legacy, but as with his copycat trap where he killed his sisters murderer, he is sloppy. He just doesn't have John Kramer's brilliance - which might speak about Kramer's intelligence given that he picked him (and Amanda). I guess even genuises make mistakes.

William Easton is an executive at an insurance company and he proudly tells John Kramer in flashbacks that he created a formula now used to deny or approve claims based on the candidates' probability for costing the company money. Liabilities are denied, of course.

"So basically," John sumarrizes, "You choose who lives or dies." Sound familiar?

William's test is less about him and more about people around him. As before with the father who's son was hit by a drunk driver, William must make choices with an eerie connection to his own proudly touted formula. People like his secretary, a young exec at the firm, the six people who pour through claims looking for errors, etc. Mean while, a mother and her son are in a cell watching, along with a reporter who has been covering (and some would suggest sensationalizing) John Kramer's legacy. How all of these people are connected isn't certain, except that they are all somehow related to William Easton.

Meanwhile, Mark Hoffman is starting to unravel. His sloppiness is beginning to get noticed by the FBI agents and it seems as though his framing of Peter Straum (the detective Hoffman killed at the end of 5) isn't working as planned.

We also find out more about John Kramer's story, especially through his wife. We find out what was in the box that John willed her after his death. We find out how much she actually knew about what John was doing. We even find out a little bit more about Amanda and what was in that letter she found shortly before dying in #3.

Yet, there is still so much left unanswered and I am excited to watch Saw 3D.

At the same time, I'm a little disappointed. 3D movies cost $5 more to see and since I've been reading that Saw 3D just isn't worth the extra money, I was planning to see it in traditional 2D, but there is only one theater showing it and it's too far to justify going by bus. I have been struggling with whether or not to see Saw 3D in theaters or just wait for it on DVD. I don't appreciate the producers of this movie forcing another $5 out of me for an already over-priced ticket.

Still, watching all the past movies this week, I am too excited about seeing the final chapter. I guess I have to make a choice, right? Live or die!..... er.....um.... rather.... See it in theaters or wait for Dvd...

Halloween Movie Night #27 - It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

It's a Halloween classic! What more can be said?

...I got a rock!

Halloween Movie Night #26 - Saw 5

Don't read this unless you have seen the first four.

Saw 5 is an entertaining movie, but it is all about Agent Hoffmann, the man who was revealed as Jigsaw's third helper at the end of the last chapter. Very little information is given about John Kramer, Amanda or Jill Tuck, Kramer's ex-wife. This chapter focused on Hoffmann's involvement in the entire story.

The backstory here reveals that Hoffmann was a partner with Jigsaw from almost the beginning. Seeking revenge for the death of his sister, Hoffmann sets up her killer and ex-boyfriend in a Jigsaw copycat device. Hoffmann's ability to make the crime scene look like a Jigsaw killing fools the police, but the sloppiness of the device pisses off Jigsaw and he confronts the vengeful brother. All of this is revealed through flashbacks while FBI agent Stramm unravels the truth about Hoffmann's involvement.

Meanwhile five victims are being tested in one of the last games of Jigsaw's design before his death. They are told at the beginning that they are all linked and discovering that link will help them win the game. This idea harkens back to the 2nd movie in more ways than one.

While I appreciated the explanations of how Hoffmann fit into the entire story, the lack of any more details about Jigsaw sends this chapter lower on the list for me. The twist is clever, but not nearly as much as the others were. We already know who the accomplice is, so there really isn't much of a surprise there, though there is a really clever twist, nonetheless.

Halloween Movie Night #25 - Saw 4

Don't read this unless you've seen the first three.

Jigsaw is dead. Amanda is dead. Yet, the story continues on. Someone is still out there trying to carry on Jigsaw's work. Apparently, Jigsaw knew that Amanda was going to blow it.

The great thing about this chapter in the Saw story is that we get a LOT more background on the villain himself. Before the cancer, before the suicide attempt, before his mission to teach people how to value their lives by putting them in horrific games, Jigsaw was in love. She was only hinted at in the last chapter, but now we found out more about John Kramer's wife. There is yet another layer of sadness in that story that drives John Kramer to don the mission of Jigsaw. We even witness his first ever game.

Saw 4 begins with an autopsy of John Kramer that is just as realistic and disturbing as the makeshift surgery in the last movie. When the check the contents of his stomach, a wax-covered mini tape is discovered and Detective Hoffmann is called in to hear it. Hoffmann is that character that was merely hinted at in the previous film.

The focus of this chapter, however, is on Lieutenant Rigg. He has been all the movies before, but in this one he takes center stage. Everyone around him is dying and he is now on a personal mission to hunt whomever is continuing the gruesome legacy that Jigsaw has left behind; even if it means ignoring protocol. The new Jigsaw sets up an elaborate game for Rigg, one that closely resembles the game from the last movie in that the player's choice effects the lives of other players.

Two new characters appear in this: two FBI agents are now on the case and they are convinced that Rigg is being recruited to continue Jigsaw's morbid legacy. All the evidence points to the fact that Rigg always seems to have a connection to the current list of victims. Is that a coincidence?

We also learn the fate of Detective Matthews who plays a more prominent role in this film again. He and Hoffman are set up in Rigg's game as well.

Though not one of my favorite chapters in the series, Saw 4 does offer some fascinating insight into John Kramer's past and introduces a more prominent figure for future chapters: his wife. It is never clear if she is an accomplice or merely an ex-wife as she claims. For me, this was the meatier part of the story.

Halloween Movie Night #24 - Saw 3

Don't read this if you haven't seen the first two Saw movies.

Story-wise, I think Saw 3 is one of my favorites of the Saw movies. It is a chilling character story and it answers a lot of questions all while raising even more. It also has one of the greatest misdirects ever in a movie!

At the end of Saw 2, we learned that Amanda is Jigsaw's protegee. She helped him orchestrate not only the game from that movie, but she also helped him set up the game from the first one. This chapter explains a lot more about her involvement in the Jigsaw story. He wants her to carry on his life's work.

But we quickly learn that John Kramer (aka Jigsaw) is always testing people, even those we think he may trust.

Saw 3 starts by giving us more information about Detective Matthews from Saw 2. At the end of that movie we saw him chained to a pipe in that fateful bathroom. This movie starts right where #2 left off. From there we are taken to another Jigsaw crime scene being investigated by detectives. Kerry, the confirmed expert on Jigsaw, is called to the scene and she worries that it's Matthews who is still missing. After finding out that the victim isn't him, she begins to realize that this "game" doesn't match Jigsaw's others. Thus far, his games have been escapable - Amanda is proof of that. But this latest test was performed behind a door that had been welded shut. There was no way for the victim to escape even if he had passed the test.

We also meet a new character: Mark Hoffmann. His screen time is short here, but his importance to the story will be huge later.

Later, Kerry is at home reviewing the tape from this latest victim when she herself is abducted and put in a trap. She is... well, I better not ruin what happens to her...

The story shifts to the focus characters of this movie. We a meet a doctor named Lynn and a man named Jeff. We learn that Jeff is still mourning the death of his son who was killed by a drunk driver. Jeff's test is one of forgiveness because he will soon face a witness to the accident who ran instead of testifying. He will face the judge who only sentenced the drunk driver to 6 months. Finally, he will face the drunk driver himself. In all the cases, those people's lives are in his hands. Can he find a way to forgive them and save them from the horrible deaths?

During all of this, the doctor is assigned with keeping a VERY ill John Kramer (Jigsaw) alive during Jeff's game. She is fitted with a gruesome collar that will blow her head off if Jigsaw's heart monitor flat lines. Using only crude tools, she has to perform an operation on his skull to relieve pressure on the brain. This is one of the most realistic surgeries ever performed on film, hands down.

Amanda is in this one, too. As the movie progresses, she gets more unhinged. Jealousy and anger still rule her life as though she has learned nothing from Jigsaw's tests. She clearly loves him, but these bitter emotions still get the best of her. She is there to keep Lynn in check, but at the same time, it's as though Amanda needs to be kept in check, too.

All of this builds to a pretty amazing conclusion and another twist... Well, more a series of twists. One of them relates to the misdirect that I mentioned earlier.

For all the horrific torturing these movies depict, there is quite a story being told. I'm probably a sick man for loving these movies as much as I do, but I swear it's all about the story! Much like a guy flipping through a porn magazine for the articles. I SWEAR!

Halloween Movie Night #23 - Jennifer's Body

Okay, I'm just going to say it: I really don't see the appeal of Megan Fox. I know straight guys really dig her. Apparently she's...I don't know...hot, or something? Whatever. I guess it's a straight guy thing and I just wouldn't understand. Although, I have found women attractive before (not that I wanted to have sex with them) and I just don't see the same qualities in Megan Fox that I have seen in those other women.

Maybe she's not my type?

I'm not that fond of her as an actress, either, though that's probably because the only other movies I've seen her in were the Transformers movies, the second of which was a waste of every living (and non-living) resource on this earth.

I hadn't heard anything good about Jennifer's Body. The reviews hadn't been favorable and a quick look at it on IMDB.com showed that it barely has a 50% rating. That's a failing grade in school and it's even worse for movies. When I saw that it was playing on HBO, though, I decided to have Tivo record it. So, I lose nearly two hours of my life. It's better than paying for a rental and THEN losing nearly two hours of my life.

I ended up liking the movie, though. First, it was written by Diablo Cody who also wrote Juno. People tend to either REALLY hate her stuff or REALLY like her stuff. I am definately the latter. This dark comedy shifts so quickly between witty dialogue and horiffic scenes that you almost catch yourself laughing at something truly gruesome. As with Juno, the success of Jennifer's Body lies with Cody's acerbic wit. For example, shortly after being run through the stomach by an oar, a character looks up and asks, "Got a tampon?"

Jennifer, (Megan Fox) is the victim of a sacrifice to Satan by a struggling indie-rock band. Unfortunately, they mistake her for a virgin and apparently when such a mistake is made, the result is demonic possession rather than hit records (though the band tends to do pretty well following the attempted sacrifice). Jennifer becomes a boy-devouring undead girl, preying on anything with two legs and a penis.

For me, the better performance in the movie came from Amanda Seyfried who sang her way through Mama Mia! but to me will always be the girl from Mean Girls who "like, must have ESPN or something!" One reviewer I read said she has eyes as big as an alien from Avatar and that is no joke! Frankly, I think she's much prettier (gorgeous, even) than Megan Fox. She's also a better actress.

Playing the boyfriend to Amanda's nerdy girl is Johnny Simmons who is pretty damn adorable. He was in the movie Hotel for Dogs and more recently in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Though none of the boys in the movie are given any real depth of character, Simmons' Chip at least has some. This movie, though, is all about the ladies. Thankfully, they at least gave this cutie some shirtless scenes.

Jennifer's Body was a pleasant surprise (and I gotta say that I never thought I'd say something like that).

Halloween Movie Night #22 - Saw 2

Part two of the horrific trilogy begins with a guy strapped into a venus-fly-trap-contraption set to snap shut on his head in 60 seconds unless he can dig the key out from behind his eye in time. This began the pattern of opening the movie with a death game, only this one was unrelated to the story.

Saw 2 tells the story of several people who wake up in a mysterious house that is leaking poisonous gas into their lungs. The antidotes are hidden around the house and each is hidden behind a different game - each one relating to a particular character's specific sin in life. One of the "players" in Jigsaw's twisted game is the son of a police detective who discovers his son's participation while trying to arrest Jigsaw. We discover that this is also a game for the detective - all he has to do is sit and talk to Jigsaw, while his son continues to breathe in the toxic poison. If he does this, Jigsaw promises that the boy will be found in a safe location, but can we really believe the promise of a serial killer?

Except Jigsaw isn't really a killer and one of his specific traits is that he doesn't lie.

Also interesting in this sequel is the promotion of a minor character from the first one - a drug addict named Amanda. She is the only known survivor of one of Jigsaw's games and she is back. Apparently she didn't learn her lesson the first time around, so she is one of the victims in the poison-infested house.

We don't really learn much more about Jigsaw in this movie, other than the fact that his cancer is really dragging him down. He's still as wry as ever, though. Still one has to wonder how exactly he's able to acomplish everything he does in his declining state...

One last joy for me about this film is the fact that Beverly Mitchell is in it. She played darling Lucy Camden on the hit TV show 7th Heaven and though there really isn't much for her to do in this - and she often just seems like Lucy Camden dying of poison - it was still cool to see her in this.

As with the previous installment, there is a twist that is pretty damn cool.

Halloween Movie Night #21 - Saw

I realize that most people in this world do not like the Saw movies. Yes, they are very gory, sick and twisted, but even my co-worker who loves that kind of stuff is sick of these movies. The reason I really like the Saw franchise is that they are really damn clever. The story that they keep telling with each new installment just keeps getting better and better. Even when the particular movie you're watching isn't the best in the series, it still has something to add to the overall story. For someone like me who is a writer, that's really fun.

Another thing I really like about the Saw movies is the villian Jigsaw. This villian will go down in history as one of the best. Much like the Ed Harris character from The Rock, Jigsaw has good intentions. Yes, he sets up these horrific "games" which are little more than glorified torture devices and forces his unwilling players to torture themselves in order to play. But there is one thing in common that all of Jigsaw's victims have in common: they are bad people. Jigsaw picks people who need to learn lessons about life - usually lessons about the values of life. As a man dying of cancer, John Kramer has learned to value life and by putting his victims in these horrible situations, he is trying to teach them to value theres. Or they die trying.

As they say repeatedly in the Saw movies, John Kramer (aka Jigsaw) never once kills anybody. He offers them a choice: live or die.

This first Saw movie finds two man (Dr. Lawrence Gordon and Adam) chained to pipes in a grungy bathroom. They soon learn that they must trust each other to figure out how to survive this game that has been thrust upon them. Through flashbacks, more information is given about Jigsaw, the man who is forcing them to play. Also, information is given about the two men and the lives they lead. We soon find out exactly why Jigsaw has chosen them to play his morbid game.

Soon into the game they find hacksaws and they figure they are to use them to cut through the chains. They realize, however, that the idea isn't to cut through the chains, but rather their feet. People assume that the hacksaws are what gave the movie its name. More accurately, I think the title Saw refers to the fact that the victims are always being watched. Jigsaw is always watching the game.

This is one sick movie, but if you can look past the gore, there's a really cool story being told. There is one hell of a twist that had everyone in the theater gasping once it was revealed. I still get excited when I get to that point in the movie. All the movies in the franchise have a "twist" to the plot revealed at the end, but few of them have had the impact as that first one.

I am re-watching all of these Saw movies this week because on Friday Saw 7 (yes, Saw #7) is hitting theaters in the 3D format. They actually filmed it in 3D, too... they didn't film it and then reformat it later - a trend that I find more disgusting than the gore in the Saw movies. I can't wait to see Saw 7 and my excitement grows with each Saw movie that I rewatch!

Halloween Movie Night #20 - Mostly Ghostly

I started to watch The Last House on the Left (a remake of a Wes Craven movie) today, but turned it off when it got to the brutal rape scene. It wasn't so much the rape scene that made me stop watching as it was the stupid story. There seemed to be no point to anything that any of the characters did, including the rape. I read the plot outline on wikipedia and discovered that the rape was merely a plot point to encourage revenge in the girl's parents. Revenge movies are not very original any more. So I stopped the movie, deleted it from Tivo and looked for another movie to watch.

Mostly Ghostly ended up being quite the opposite of the movie I started watching. It was funny at times and corny at others. Two kids named Nicky and Tara suddenly discover that no one is listening to them or can see them. They are, in fact, now ghosts. They encounter a boy named Max who is now living in their house. Max is a wannabe magician, despite the fact that his father would rather he be more into sports.

The three eventually discover that an evil ghost named Phear plans to release a bunch of evil spirits on the town and they are the only ones who can stop him. Nicky and Tara's parents tried before, but failed - though how they failed is never explained. Of course, Max will be able to succeed, so Nicky and Tara enlist him for the job.

So, while Mostly Ghostly won't win any awards for plot development or even for special effects or acting, it was a much better choice than the movie I started watching!

Halloween Movie Night #19 - The Covenant

The Covenant really did not get very good reviews. I happened to see it playing on FX and was able to record it, but as I looked at the wikipedia page, I began to wonder if I wanted to waste my time with it. What kept me interested in it was the concept of vulnerability bestowed on the warlocks in the story.

Four guys have been living in a Massachuttes town, so close that they are like brothers. Their families are direct descendents of witches that were around during the times of the Salem witch trials, so to protect themselves, they form a covenant to keep their powers hidden; though you wouldn't know it from the way the four boys use their powers in front of everybody!

What I liked about this idea was the fact that with the blessing of the powers also comes a curse: use the powers too much and you age prematurely. The powers are addictive and it is too easy to use them too much and age yourself too quickly. I love this idea! Vulerability among witches - at least like this - isn't something you see often in movies.

The conflict comes in the story comes from the revelation that there is a fifth family whose power is long-though gone since the Salem witch trials. Of course, we soon find out differently when a fifth warlock comes on the scene and challenges Caleb to his powers.

While The Covenant isn't a spectacular movie, it is definately of a better quality than say... certain movies and books about a vampire/wherewolf'/human girl love triangle. The acting is MUCH better, too. There are problems with the movie, but it's entertaining and offers an interesting angle on the magical powers of witches theme.

Halloween Movie Night #18 - Button, Button

Last year, Cameron Diaz and James Marsden were in a movie called The Box. It wasn't very successful, but it did draw attention to this long-forgotten (except by me) episode from the 80's version of the Twilight Zone. When I first saw the story back in the 80's called Button, Button it scared the crap out of me and the whole concept behind the story has stayed with me all these years.

A white trash couple, clearly desperate for money, are one day given a box with a glass dome on top of it. Inside the glass dome is a red button and accompanying the box is a note promising that a visitor will arrive the next day to explain things to them. An odd-looking man does indeed show up and explains to the wife that should they choose to push the button two things will happen. First, someone whom they do not know will die. Second, he will give them $200,000, tax free.

For days they agonize about what to do until finally the wife announces "I'm going to push it!" and she does. As promised, the strange man shows up with a briefcase full of money and...

As much as I am dying to spoil the ending, I just can't. It is much more effective when you watch the whole thing and experience it for yourself. Therefore, I will include the two parts of the episode for you to enjoy. You're welcome!





Okay, how AWESOME was that ending?

As for the 2009 expansion of this story, it was okay. The entire events of the TV episode happen within the first 30 minutes or so of the film. The rest of the film is dedicated to explaining who the man is and why he makes them the offer. It is full of special effects and creepy moments, but it is severely lacking in story and purpose. For me, the creepiest aspect to the story (and any horror movie, for that matter) is the NOT knowing and the movie completely ruins that.

This story isn't about why the strange man makes them the offer. The story is about why the couple makes the decision they do. Of course, the chilling last line of the TV episode is the perfect place to end the story. I am a firm believer in making the audience wonder and the TV show (as well as the Richard Matheson short story) does just that by not explaining anything beyond the stranger saying that he's going to give the box to another couple and give them the same offer - and it'll be someone that they don't know! How scary is that?!

Halloween Movie Night #17 - Hocus Pocus

I put a spell on you! For movie night #17 (Oh yes, I know I am severely behind schedule...) I watched Hocus Pocus while on a field trip. This is one of those movies that I just have to see every year. Between Bette Midler belting out the best version of "I put a Spell on you" to ever be recorded (though sadly never released as a single or on a soundtrack) to Kathy Najimy flying around town on a vacuum cleaner to Sarah Jessica Parker jumping up and down giggling "amok, amok, amok, amok" Hocus Pocus is just plain fun! The three actresses play the Sanderson sisters, a trio of witches who suck the lives from children to maintain a youthful appearance - think of a rather morbid fountain of youth. Sarah lures the children into the woods with a siren song, Mary gathers the ingredients for the potion and Winnie... er... um... reads the ingredients out of her beloved book. Well, Winnie is the leader so why should she have to do any work? After killing his sister, the witches face off against a boy named Thackery Binx who is cursed to live forever as a cat - forget about nine lives, this feline boy gets infinity - shortly before they are gathered by the townspeople and hanged. At the hanging, however Winnie cackles out a spell that promises to bring them back should a virgin ever light the black flame candle. Enter Max, the skeptic, played by the adorable Omri Katz. Believing the legends to be "Hocus Pocus" he lights the candle and summons the witches and chaos ensues. The sisters have one night to suck the lives from all the children or forever be ashes to ashes and dust to dust. The movie didn't do well when it first hit theaters, but it's become a cult classic since being released on DVD. Odds are you know someone who loves this movie... or that person is you! I definitely can't make it through October without hearing Better Midler singing the show-stopping musical number midway through the film.

Halloween Movie Night #16 - Rocky Horror Picture Show

Let's do the Time Warp again! I can't believe that this movie is only a couple months older than me! For its 35th Anniversary, The Rocky Horror Picture Show got a pretty decent face lift onto the high def blu ray format. I wish I looked as good. Is Rocky Horror the best movie ever made? No. It's campy fun that has developed into a cult hit phenomenon. Though it was a bomb at the box office when it first appeared in 1975, it found a new audience at midnight screenings and soon was developed the traditions of yelling things back at the screen, throwing props and people dressing up as the characters and performing up front right along with the movie. Though I have never actually been to a physical screening (Rocky Horror enthusiasts would call me a virgin), I know all about what goes on. I ended up buying the blu ray because they loaded it with a ton of campy extras. One thing missing from the blu ray (and the reason why I will keep my DVD copy) is the audio track featuring a recorded session of a midnight showing, complete with all the lines that have been traditionally excepted as Rocky Horror Picture Show viewing lines. The blu ray has a similar subtitle track with scripted lines you can shout, but it just isn't the same. Also included is a "prop box" with props you can select at the appropriate time - the digital ones promise to "save your plasma TV from getting ruined by messy props". Also, they auditioned performers who were filmed performing as characters which was made into a picture-in-picture option on the blu ray. As for the movie itself, it features Tim Curry as Frank 'n' Furter, a host to a stranded couple named Brad and Janet (Barry Bostwick and Susan Surandon). He has created a monster for himself, the title character Rocky. Frank is a little odd and so is the night that Brad and Janet are about to face. Rocky Horror is a campy musical horror film that is a LOT of fun to watch!